matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
