you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize