I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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