my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
