I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
