I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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