I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
