At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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