no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
