Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
