I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Terrible idea I love it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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