I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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