You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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