And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dignity is for republicans.
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I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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