Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize