Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
