New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
