Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
