It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I will pee on everything he values.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The adults are the big ones right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
