Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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