Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
