her vagine was all disorganized.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
