O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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