They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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