I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
