drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
handjob tips. give me some.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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