I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
