So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
