I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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