like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
