i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
