Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
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if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
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She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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