Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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