The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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