proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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