Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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