I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The feeling are messing with the penis
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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