What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
