he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
God I need to hump something, right now.
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