First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
