I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
