Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
