last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
