I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize