what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
