the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
