yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
