just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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