I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
