woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
