He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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