epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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