capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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