Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
