come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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