you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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