So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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