i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
