Small penises have feelings too.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
