I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
