When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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